Big Time Lonliness
by SisAngel
Summary: Passing through the lobby in silence, Carlos left the Palm Woods with a heavy heart, his only friend the helmet on his head.


**Written for my best friend and Psychic Sister Lost, because Carlos wasn't properly kidnapped and whumped in Big Time Returns xD**

**Note to Lost: I've been working on this since we talked last night. You were kinda sad!face over the lack of Carlos kidnapping/whump so I wanted to remedy that :) But then I started writing and it turned into this instead :P But at least there's still whump! \o/**

**AND THIS IS EXACTLY 3,000 WORDS. JUST, YOU KNOW, POINTING THAT OUT. (I'm so proud of myself xD [and that was according to my word document thingy])**

* * *

He found James easily enough. It was Tanning Time, so naturally he was lounging by the pool. Carlos darted over to his friend, standing above him and looking down at the Pretty Boy.

"Hey, James! You wanna help me-"

"Carlos!" James snapped, pushing up his sunglasses to glare at the younger boy. "You're blocking my sun! I don't want a Carlos-shaped tan line!"

Carlos' face lit up like a Christmas tree. "That would be so cool!"

"No, it wouldn't! Now go away!" With a dramatic huff James flipped over to tan his back, not seeing how Carlos' face fell at his words.

"Oh...okay," said Carlos, walking away sadly, his head bowed in defeat.

* * *

"Logie!" Carlos nearly shouted into the other boy's ear, startling him so badly he threw his book up onto the loft high above the living room. "Wanna play-"

"Carlos! I'm trying to read!" Logan shouted, leaping up from the couch and crawling up the slide to retrieve his book.

Carlos followed him up. "But wouldn't you rather watch Lauren Craft, Space Raider with me?"

"No, I need to finish this book for an extra credit paper," said Logan, dusting his book off and checking for damage to the spine and pages.

"But you're already a straight A student, you don't need the extra credit!"

"It looks good on college applications."

"But-"

"No buts," said Logan, glaring at him sternly. "We can watch it later, after I write my report."

Logan brushed passed him and went into the room he shared with Kendall, slamming the door on Carlos as the Latino tried to follow. Carlos slumped, fighting the tears he felt building behind his eyes. No one would give him any attention and it was starting to wear on him.

* * *

"Hey, Kendall," Carlos said sadly as he passed Kendall in the lobby.

The blonde's bushy eyebrows furrowed and he immediately turned to catch up with Carlos. "Why the long face, Carlitos?"

Carlos looked up, barely holding in his tears. "Logan and James won't play with me and everyone else is too busy for me."

"Oh, Carlos," Kendall sighed. "It's nothing personal toward you, you know that. People get busy, it doesn't mean they don't love you anymore."

"I know, but it still-"

Carlos was cut off by the ringing of Kendall's phone. Kendall looked sheepish but didn't make a move to answer it. "You were saying?"

Carlos smiled a small grin. "It's okay, Kendall, answer your phone. I'm just going to go for a swim."

Kendall smiled and patted Carlos on the back. "All right, sounds good. Talk later?"

Carlos smiled and nodded, then the two went their separate ways.

But they didn't talk later. The following days were simply repeats of the previous, with the addition of Kendall being too busy with his plans with Lucy to hang out with Carlos. The Latino tried everyone, from his best friends to the new residents of the Palm Woods but no one wanted to do anything with the poor boy. Logan was in the middle of a situation with Camille, James was busy talking up the new girl, even Tyler and Lightning were too busy shooting commercials to spend time with him. As the days passed and Saturday was rolling back around, Carlos had given up trying to get people to notice him. It was as if he had become invisible for the last week and it was horrible.

"Hey, guys, anyone want to play sock hockey?" he asked half-heartedly, a last stitch effort to gain their attention.

When no one looked up from what they were doing, Carlos gave up. He sighed deeply, punching his fists into the pockets of his hoodie. Maybe a walk would do him good, he thought as he silently left 2J.

So that's what he did, despite the fact that it was growing darker outside by the minute. It had been storming all afternoon, and though the rain had subsided, the clouds lingered, threatening the city every few minutes with a low rumble of thunder. On top of that, it was getting late, the sun setting behind the dark clouds. Passing through the lobby in silence, Carlos left the Palm Woods with a heavy heart, his only friend the helmet on his head.

* * *

"Have you guys seen Carlos?" Katie asked as she entered the apartment.

James, Logan and Kendal all pulled their attention from their own thoughts for the first time in a week and looked at each other, confused, the absence of their friend finally realized.

"No, not lately," said Kendall, trying to remember the last time he had, gut twisting when he couldn't recall.

"I don't think I've talked to him in a few days," Logan said, a frown of guilt pulling at his lips.

James' eyes widened. "Me either."

"Oh no," Kendall sighed, dropping his face into his hands. "We did it again."

"Did what?" asked Katie.

"In fifth grade, we all got caught up with our own problems," James began.

"We ended up completely ignoring Carlos for, like, a week," said Logan. "Not intentionally, but it still hurt him."

"And he ran away," Kendall sighed as he stood, the others following him to the door. "Back then, he went to the lake. We found him in ten minutes, because we knew where he'd go, but here, who knows where he could be." He looked grim as he slipped on his jacket. "Lock the door, call mom and tell her what happened. And call if he shows up."

And with that, the three were gone.

* * *

Carlos hugged himself tighter as he walked. He wasn't really that cold, it had been raining but it was only moderately windy now. And being from Minnesota, he had been much, much colder, but the loneliness deep inside him chilled him to the bone. It was well passed dark now and as he trekked further down the empty, unfamiliar street he began to regret his decision to take a walk. He had easily gotten lost in the maze of a city, and he was regretting even more that he hadn't charged his phone in a while. He wiped a stray tear from his round cheek and sniffled, feeling more alone than he had in a long time.

But as alone as he felt, he couldn't shake the feeling of someone watching him. For the last block the hairs on the back of his neck had been standing on end and a continuous chill ran down his spine. After a few minutes of deep breathing, he mustered the courage to causally glance behind him, and his heart skipped.

No more than fifteen feet behind Carlos were two large men, twisted smiles on their faces as they followed, glancing up at him too many times to be causal. Carlos picked up his pace and immediately heard the steps behind him quicken. Suddenly Carlos broke out into a run, moving as fast as his exhausted body could carry him. He was fit, of course, and had been the fastest runner at his school, but he had already been walking for nearly an hour and if the grumble in his stomach was any indication, he had forgotten to eat dinner. He barely heard the slapping of his pursuers' shoes on the wet pavement over the pounding of his heart. He pushed himself to go faster as he felt them beginning to catch up, heard their amused chuckles growing closer. This was just a game to them. He was like a deer, and they were the hunters.

"Leave me alone!" he cried out, but that only elicited more twisted laughter from the pair as they sped up.

Carlos didn't see the large crack in the sidewalk until his shoe caught and he went tumbling, his helmet smacking into the wet pavement with a sharp crack. He lay there for a moment, his mind screaming at him to get up, to keep running, but his body wouldn't listen. He was just too tired to care anymore. A large boot stepped into the puddle in front of him with a splash, sending muddy droplets into his face. He wasn't sure what was happening until he felt a sharp kick to his ribs, his cry of pain cut short when he was grabbed by the front of his hoodie and yanked him halfway up off the ground. Two pairs of dark, vicious eyes glared at him, cruel smiles on their faces.

"Look, Frank, it's one of them boy band fags," the one holding him up sneered.

"That...that's not a nice word," Carlos whispered, voice wavering with fear and pain as tears ran down his tanned cheeks.

His assailants looked at him like he was crazy for a moment before bursting into laughter. Carlos tried to smile, hoping their laughter was a good sign.

It wasn't.

The man holding him up punched him so quickly his head snapped back, unprepared for the blow. He tasted blood as he was suddenly dropped to the ground and the man stood, Frank cracking his knuckles behind him.

"Can I have the next hit, Lloyd?" Frank asked eagerly.

"Be my guest."

Carlos couldn't help the whimper that escaped his split lips.

* * *

"Carlos!" Kendall called as the three friends walked.

They had been searching for an hour with no sign of the Latino, silent the entire time besides taking turns calling out his name. Each of them could feel their hope running thin, but it was Logan who finally voiced it.

"We're never going to find him," Logan said sadly, hugging his jacket around him tighter.

"Relax," said James, pulling Logan into a side hug as they walked. "We'll find him."

"This isn't Shakopee, James. We don't have any special hangouts besides the Palm Woods pool. How are we supposed to find him in a city this big?"

Kendall spun around suddenly and James and Logan froze.

"We will find him," Kendall stated firmly, confidently. "No matter how long it takes to search this stupid city, we won't give up until we do."

James and Logan just nodded, knowing their leader was right. If there was one thing everyone knew about Big Time Rush, it was that each of them would do anything for the others. They would go to the ends of the Earth to find one another, and that was exactly what they were going to do.

"Should we split up? Cover more ground?" James suggested.

"With the crime rate in LA, I don't think that's a great idea," Logan said.

"Logan's right, we need to stick together," said Kendall, turning to start walking again.

After that, the silence took hold once more.

It was some time later when they found themselves on a dark, deserted street, walking as close together as possible, their combined nervous energy thick in the air.

"I really hope he's not here," Logan whispered.

"Carlos!" James called. "Where are you, buddy?"

They started when they heard rustling and groaning coming from the alley they were passing. They glanced at each other quickly before Logan and James shoved Kendall toward the shadows, motioning for him to go check it out. He shook his head, eyes wide, until they heard the groan again. It sounded familiar, and that was enough to send Kendall into the alley, fear forgotten.

"Carlos?" he called. "Is that you?"

Plastic bags rustled again behind a dumpster and he heard a broken voice mumble.

"Carlos?" Kendall stepped further in to the alley. In the pile of bags and boxes he saw a body in dark clothes, face pressed into a bag. And he saw the split helmet lying next to him. "Carlos!" he cried, dropping to his knees beside the Latino and holding his face up out of the bags.

"Call an ambulance!" Logan told James, sprinting over to the pair.

Logan didn't seem to notice the unidentifiable slime he was now kneeling in as he started to roll Carlos on to his back. With Kendall's help he pulled the Latino from the pile of garbage and settled him in Kendall's lap, the blonde cradling his head gently.

"Carlos, can you hear me?" Logan asked, running his fingers through Carlos's short hair gently to check for a head injury. "Talk to me, buddy."

Carlos' eyes fluttered open slightly, the normally alight brown eyes dull with pain. "G-guys..." he gasped as Logan ran a hand over his chest and hit a sore spot. "Ow."

"Sorry, Carlos," Logan said, but continued his examination. "Cracked ribs, at least two. They might be broken," he muttered, more to himself than anyone else.

"They're on the way," said James, coming to stand above them. He smiled down at Carlos, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Hey, buddy."

"Carlos, what happened?" Kendall asked, gently wiping the tears from his friend's chubby cheek.

Carlos just shook his head, too tired to say anything.

"We're so sorry, Carlos," Kendall said, running his fingers through the Latino's short hair soothingly. "We didn't mean to ignore you like that, I swear."

Carlos smiled weakly, or at least as far as his split lip would allow. "S'okay. I still love you."

James laughed, but it sounded more like a sob. "We love you, buddy."

"So much," Logan added tearfully.

"Don't forget that," said Kendall.

Carlos grinned, his eyes fluttering closed.

"Carlos?" James asked, a note of panic in his shaking voice.

"It's okay, he just passed out," said Logan. "His injuries are no worse than what he's gotten from hockey, he should be fine."

Kendall sighed raggedly as he held Carlos closer. "He'd better be."

* * *

James, Logan and Kendall sat together in the waiting room, each one lost in their own thoughts. James had his face in his hands, hiding his tears. Logan held his hands clasped together in his lap, his legs jarring with nerves. Kendall looked as if he were praying, his chin resting on steepled fingers.

"We were jerks," Logan finally said, voice raw with emotion. "We were horrible friends. He should hate us. Why doesn't he hate us?"

"Because it was a stupid mistake on our part," said Kendall. "But it's not our faults he's hurt, okay? Blaming yourselves for this will solve nothing. All we can do is learn from our mistakes."

James shot up in his chair, eyes ablaze. "Will you quit with the stupid pep-talks, Kendall? Carlos could be dying and it's our faults. All. Our. Faults. We ignored him, we drove him to leave, we let him go by himself and get the crap beat out of him. So just stop it!"

Kendall sighed. "I know. I know it is, okay?" he said. "He came to me to talk and I got distracted by Lucy. I…I could have saved him."

"He's so much more important than what school I go to," Logan said, still staring at his hands.

James' rage seemed to calm as he and Kendall both wrapped an arm around Logan's shoulders from either side of him.

"What I meant," Kendall said softly, looking at his friends imploringly. "Is that we shouldn't beat ourselves up over this. It happened, we can't change it, so let's just learn from it and move on."

"He has to be okay for us to do that," James sighed.

"He will be," Logan said with a nod. "He will be."

* * *

"Can I get you anything?" James asked, leaning over the bed eagerly. "Water? Another pillow?"

"You want something to read? There are comic books in the gift shop," said Logan, down at the foot of the bed.

"How about a movie? I brought your laptop," Kendall said from the opposite side of the bed as James.

Carlos chuckled, his warm brown eyes dancing with amusement as he looked around at his friends. "I'm fine, guys, really. You can relax."

Kendall sighed. "We just don't want you to forget how important you are to us."

"We're sorry we ignored you," said Logan. "But we really didn't mean to. We just got so.."

"Caught up in ourselves that we forgot to consider how you felt," James finished. "And we promise, it won't happen again."

"And if it does," said Kendall. "Tell us. Immediately."

"We don't want a repeat of today," said Logan. "Or the time you got pneumonia because you spent two hours at the lake without a proper coat."

"Yeah, I seem to end up in the hospital whenever this happens," Carlos chuckled. "But I promise."

"So what do you want to do?" Logan asked.

"Right now, rest and watch a movie," said Carlos, smiling tiredly at them. "But later I'd like it if you guys could help me give all this," he motioned to the overabundance of stuffed animals and balloons around his room from friends, family and fans, "to the kids down in pediatrics."

"Sounds great, Carlos," Kendall said as he started up the laptop, setting it on the rolling tray in front of the bed before settling in to one of the chairs, Logan and James doing the same.

Before the opening was over Carlos was beginning to doze off, his eyes fluttering closed of their own accord. He heard the movie being switched off, the dramatic music replaced by the whispers of his friends discussing how horrible they felt about what they had put him through, and how thankful they were that he was okay. As he drifted off the Latino smiled, feeling very loved.


End file.
